


Wouldn't, Shouldn't, Couldn't

by theshalashaska



Series: Every Thought is of You [2]
Category: Metal Gear
Genre: M/M, maybe every part in this series will be like that who knows, one sided ocel/bb, sort of directionless like the other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-30
Updated: 2015-11-30
Packaged: 2018-05-04 06:03:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 774
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5323301
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theshalashaska/pseuds/theshalashaska
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Venom was gentle in a way John wasn't."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Wouldn't, Shouldn't, Couldn't

Venom was gentle in a way John wasn't. With the dog, with the kids. With him. The thought had come to him yesterday during one of his rare--and often fleeting--free moments. The chopper outside had drawn DD, and DD in turn had drawn Ocelot. Too late, the wolfdog had Venom flat on his back. John wouldn't have let the dog up like that. Never would've let DD knock him down, lick his face, disobey orders. It made Venom look vulnerable. 

Ocelot had felt a tug in his chest at the sight. His Boss, but not his Boss. Just another copy that seemed oh-so-real. Too gentle. In some ways, that was better. He soothed with words rather than fists, calm hands rather than broken bones. 

It caused a conflict Ocelot didn't much like. On one hand, there was John, the man he'd promised his life and loyalty to 20 years ago. And on the other hand, Venom, the stand-in, the one who was only supposed to be temporary. 

He figured the hypnosis would be enough to drill that in, but the fact was he'd gotten even closer to the man from working with him, so much so that the revelation of his true identity wasn't enough to break their link. He said he'd follow John to the ends of the Earth and back. He told Kaz this was all to protect their Boss. But which Boss?

"Ocelot?"

The voice made him flinch, and the hand against his shoulder drew back to hover nearby. It was rare someone took Ocelot by surprise, even on his off days. He made it a point to not _have_ off days. Ocelot closed his eyes. _Too lost in thought_. He wouldn't let it happen again. 

"Boss."

"You don't have to call me that..." he mumbled. "There's no one around."

Ocelot opened his eyes and looked at Venom. The other man was studying the wall with intense concentration. John would've looked him in the eye; he was unsure as to whether this bothered him or not. 

"Best to be cautious."

"Hmm." He glanced at Ocelot, then back at the wall. "You seemed preoccupied."

"Just thinking. Did you need something?"

Venom's brow dipped as he considered it. He must have been meaning to ask for some time and now, presented with the chance to speak, the words were stuck in his throat. Ocelot's gaze drifted to his companion's deepening frown. He could do something. Ocelot decided to make it easy for him. 

"I'm all ears, Venom."

Blue eyes flicked to blue and caught. His lips parted as he hesitated, wondering if this was the right choice or the wrong choice and if he should change the subject while he was still ahead. Ocelot saw the exact moment Venom decided to settle on something else, and then he was speaking to the floor. 

"Why are you here? Why not with him?"

The ghost of a laugh bubbled up behind Ocelot's lips. So many reasons, and only one that wasn't incriminating. Venom was looking at him now, waiting expectantly. His single eye seared him with its unusual intensity. A small shiver zipped up his spine. Ocelot almost told him the truth, could have let it all out right then and there. He didn't. 

"He wanted me here. And you're still Big Boss to the rest of the world."

"But why not help him?"

"I am. Being here, doing this... Believe me, this helps him."

"Not immediately. You can't be by his side, and I doubt you communicate often."

"Every few months or so, yeah," he admitted. 

"So, why me?"

Venom was more observant than he'd given credit for. And more persistent, but that much had become obvious through working with him. _A tally to similarities_. Venom kept his steady gaze, and just like that, he _knew_. Ocelot suddenly felt completely naked, as if Venom had stripped his clothes and skin and bone to leave only his unguarded thoughts behind. 

"Ocelot," he prompted. 

"I'm of more use here." It didn't sound convincing to his own ears. 

Venom sighed. He aged 10 years in two seconds, and it was terrifying. He looked closer to defeat than Ocelot had ever seen--on either Boss. 

"He doesn't trust me to keep it. He thinks I'll break, and someone will have to put me down."

Ocelot looked him dead in the eye, and even though it killed him, even though he knew he should say _something_ to challenge the unspoken ' _You_ will have to put me down,' he walked to the doorway to leave. Because he shouldn't tell. 

"It's not for me to say."

Because he couldn't.


End file.
